Scribbled Diaries

This is me again after so many days!!

And the little girl wrote this small story:

"It rained heavily while I travelled past with these million thoughts, they just rushed like the wind that blew outside the window."

     There are a million things I think of.
What have I achieved? What am I expected to achieve? Self-critic i guess i try to be.
I think of ideologies of people around me: family & friends...
And how I don't seem to agree to all of them? Then why do i keep listening to their judgements... 
I think of ever reaction of mine... Was i fair? Was that fight worth? Was that tear worth?



She filled her head up with these scribbled stories..

But then, in this mess of her head, she comes to a point she's not sure how to explain anything she feels to anyone cause 'she let's it out every now and then to someone but never seems to get an answer'. 
They all give solutions either her mind doesn't contemplate or it seems to be searching for something different.

It is a simple battle of her mind, heart & judgements by people.

And in this battle in her head, she seems so brittle.

Touch her once & she could break down to little pieces

Those pieces she gathers everyday when she wakes up telling herself:

"You are beautiful & strong enough to make it , dontcha worry a bit bout it."

         She told herself this lie cause someone once told her, if she told herself this every single day her mind would believe it to be real.

         And that is all she needs, she needs to believe this girl in the mirror.

She needs to know that person is beautiful and capable of creating galaxies beyond her imagination. She needs to believe those dreams :they are meant to be achieved & the road's going to be hard but there's always a way to make it.

        She's gotta know it's alright to be slow, to go at her pace, it's not a race with anyone else out there, it's a battle to improve herself, just herself bit by bit daily.

And when she feel's low or invisible; she needs to remember:

You just need a break from everything for a little while,
The world won't stop spinning for you, but you'll catch up.

And that she's meღ 

Speaking Out❤

And it's been such a long time since I have been here! Hola everyone out there! Hope you don't get bored, eh? Well the past two years of my life has been one heck of a roller coaster ride! Being an architecture student , to emotional rides and sooo on! I found many people on this wacky journey though❤ But what I truly realized is the importance of having to start loving yourself. You maybe like oh mann that's so easy.... Lemme tell you it always isn't. Standing in front of the mirror everyday you don't smile? You try to hold yourself to get through the day! Since when has it been getting through the day you may say? Come on you got a career you love , a family who loves you, so many friends...and on and on! Basically you could be in a crowd and feel lonely... and at times you might also feel you're not worth being there! And if anyone out there feels the same ! I wanna say it's okay to feel that way, it's pretty much okay to be okay:) And maybe you need a break get out on a bicycle on a ride or probably just randomly wade through trial rooms 😁ANYTHING that makes you happy! This is all what my gut feeling told me and I did it too random things!! And after all this I tried to tell myself you're never going to bail out on this girl in the mirror! She needs you ...needs you to believe in her! Hey no rubbish it's not some magic potion ! Hasent changed all in my life but brings out the belief in the possibility it will! Someday it will! Don't let yourself down I tell myself now! Still working out ! You'll be okay girl ! AFTER ALL who said life was easy? IT ain't easy . Easy is boring:) .....Challenges make you stronger cause there's always sunshine after pouring rain!🤓 Someday you'll get there!

That's it for today❤ See you!🔜

And Sometimes You Need To Be Your Own Hero♥

So this is a story of a past few years i don't know how to explain .All i know is everyone at some point of his/her life needs inspiration or a just small 'You can do it' .Expectations : I'm not against them at all especially when it's based on your past academics but those expectations sometimes do put us down! Especially when we work hard , things go wrong and people talk to you in a way: she dosen't score anymore at the top so she dosen't study And that's it; there they conclude the kind of person you are to everything! They say don't be judgemental and this is what we face.. Isn't the pressure to score for achieving your dream not enough that we face difference in behaviour.. To be frank : A 90% student is not necessarily  putting down a 60% student. Maybe one studied less or one did try hard or circumstances failed them. But when a student faces issues and gets a % average enough, I think a student herself knows how hard she worked to reach there! And after all she goes through, it's not right to judge her.All you hear is versions of her stories :of her life. But isn't all this the only reason even if she knows all through her heart that she has given it her best shot : she tells everyone she achieved a bad score. She is satisfied and still isn't satisfied because she is constantly listening to people talking.All she needs is confidence , self esteem: to just look and tak to people, to be proud of her decisions, to stand up against the wrongs & morever to do better in Life!nThe day she realizes nobody believes she can come back to how good she was; how she can overcome mediocrity is the day she almost dies from the inside:') And everyday i'm this girl searching for positivity, for hopes, Hoping they believe i can do it .. Maybe Hoping to believe in who i am! Until then, all i can do is search for my own bliss!:)

♥*Cause sometimes You need to Be your own Hero*♥

Dreams matter!♥

                 Hey there! Busy busy busy ! Really sorry for posting late won't ever happen again:-) .And that's how life's been the past few days. Didn't really know what to write next? But realised this blog is more of a friend of mine can just tell stuff to frank audience ready to listen to you! 
                  To begin with they say life's a bore with exams and all! Ya who says lifes interesting all the time? But if life was at its best everyday i guess we would never learn to cherish those small moments, like a smile of a small kid in his mother's arms=P . An old lady just lends u a seat in a train and talks to you like she's ur friend is one of those simply beautiful moments:) . Its not that your lonely in a train but on ur journey meeting someday who just makes your day with a smile is simply amazing! Everyday is quite a journey just standing at the train's door ur earphone's plugged in music on your mind and watching the city go by where everyone has their small dreams! Its just a train journey many would feel but once you get used to travelling u wont realize it has become a part of your life and the way you live and at times you make friends too?! Meeting different people and knowing about them makes me curious♥ Such small dreams matter a lot: Maybe its not about coming 1st in an exam , its just about making someone proud? proving yourself to a society who critizes you? or working hard so that your family never has a problem of money further. I feel these are the dreams that makes someone strive hard : the burning desire to make it right! The most beautiful thing to notice is the look in their eyes i don't know why ? but it's fascinating enough to see beyond those eyes , those emotions, the way all the make up just seems a way to cover all they go through! And they still manage to smile, eh? And one day those dreams in their eyes turn into reality and vulnerably at times they get crushed! Funny how u work so hard and dreams get shattered in a day! And that's how my city works one day we had bomb blasts 26/11 it was!  And next the city was back into action, the city of dreams where people learn to pick themselves up and get everything working! City of dreams it surely is and they do matter to every person who sheds a tear once in a while when they lose hope. And for everyone here those small smiles when u meet your *Train Friends* really matter : a ray of HOPe . :) At times i feel i just think too much and may be what's supposed to happen is supposed to happen! I'm much of a day dreamer but at times i think Why NOT? ;) 

For the love of it;)

                And after 2 years of not finding time for hobbies? Finally today i read Chetan Bhagat's book "3 mistakes of my life" ^_^ !! Okay i know 2 years is exaggeration but i suck at time management.  Something really great about this book it does reflect India's Political & religous views in the best way possible! It's true India is a multicultural country and so on but really even with the 21st century at its arrival we find people fighting for religion ; Riots & what not?! And what makes it so astonishing is when it comes to marraige in our country : The first question is Which religion or caste you belong to?? I maybe too small too talk about this issue but it really is a concern! How does it matter if you are a muslim? or a sikh? or a hindu? We all do pray to that one lord above with hopes when our lives are a disaster! Just different names & different festivals but we all still celebrate joys and sorrows as a community;) Small towns in our country still worry on the name of religion , yes we are evolving but the evolution at times is only restricted upto cities. We need to change the aspect of thinking that religions can separate us! Because our country is amazing and people from the world are still alarmed how so many religions celebrate festivals together . Then why should these small differences divide us? Why should a muslim girl or a hindu be denied from joining a university of her choice on her religion?  India without its culture is unimaginable because it is what makes this country unique! The tricolour is our pride! I would like to tell all readers i'm not against anyone's opinion but this is just my opinion: We need to stop fighting on names of religion. We need to unite ourselves for a better nation!I am an Indian & i  Love my country:)!

Why do we follow $tereotypes?!

           

           Well this is just my first hand at writing a blog, so hope you like it=)

                All i do wake up every morning wondering am i good enough? It just seems the way of world to expect you to be like an ideal student or an ideal human being. But let me ask you what's ideal? Is it ideal to be beautiful like an actress or is it ideal to be excellent in academics? Is Mediocrity a mistake?? Questions like these haunt me every single minute i try to be Myself. Its the same world where your told to dream big as the "Sky is the Limit". I wonder why this world wants you to be dream what they want you to be! Well i was a Science student & each day i walked on the streets all i was asked was "Do you want to be an Engineer or a Doctor?" And every time i stated i want to be an ''Architect" ,it seemed like they felt i was useless?! And they kept trying to push in the idea of being a doctor or an engineer. But i don't get it isn't it our wish to be who we want to be.. Everyone out there wants you to reach their level of "Expectations". But who gives you the right to expect from us when you don't know the story of the girl other than what you have heard from those Street Gossipers. 
                The hardest thing is to be Yourself in a world where everybody wants you to be Somebody=) Here i end it for the day readers still confused and lost at how the world works. Still alarmed at they people look believe in  Stereotypes. Hoping someday i'll create my own identity!=)